The days are slowly dwindling down to 0, and I find myself constantly reflecting on the whole process leading up to this point in my life. My decisions after undergrad, my teacher education program, student teaching, my students, my instruction, how students view me....and the list goes on and on. Did I do everything right? Could I have done more? Did I give everything I had? How could I have proven myself more? Am I going crazy?!
The last question may come as a result of lack of sleep, but regardless the questions continue on and on. It feels good to know that I can honestly say that I HAVE given my all. I know that I worked harder at this than I have worked at anything else I have ever done. This was the first time that I felt like a classroom was my own, and that the students were dependent upon me for their learning and for a positive role model and face to see everyday. The more I felt ownership of the classroom, I began to feel increasingly more confident and comfortable. It took me a while, but those feelings were reinforcing every decision I had made.
I had made all of the right decisions. I was meant for this. I am actually good at this. The harder I work and as more time goes by, I get better at this. I feel strong and confident. I was making connections with students.
I had an "ah-ha" moment. After struggling with my career decision after the Prosecutor's Office and law school, and making the big move to go back to grad school and pursue teaching, I was finally able to say that I had found what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
It's a great feeling.
Now I just need someone else to see that so I can find myself a job! Come on job postings! I have been waiting my whole life for this opportunity and I am going after it!
The last question may come as a result of lack of sleep, but regardless the questions continue on and on. It feels good to know that I can honestly say that I HAVE given my all. I know that I worked harder at this than I have worked at anything else I have ever done. This was the first time that I felt like a classroom was my own, and that the students were dependent upon me for their learning and for a positive role model and face to see everyday. The more I felt ownership of the classroom, I began to feel increasingly more confident and comfortable. It took me a while, but those feelings were reinforcing every decision I had made.
I had made all of the right decisions. I was meant for this. I am actually good at this. The harder I work and as more time goes by, I get better at this. I feel strong and confident. I was making connections with students.
I had an "ah-ha" moment. After struggling with my career decision after the Prosecutor's Office and law school, and making the big move to go back to grad school and pursue teaching, I was finally able to say that I had found what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
It's a great feeling.
Now I just need someone else to see that so I can find myself a job! Come on job postings! I have been waiting my whole life for this opportunity and I am going after it!